Feeling Normal

and a few 💭 on Mexico City

As I sit writing this, I’m trying to appease an unhappy stomach, a result of maybe taking one too many food risks while in Mexico City (more on CDMX later), so “Feeling Normal” is currently not the best description; but I committed to this title several weeks ago when I conceived this post. What then do I mean by feeling normal?

me doing what I do best

This post is meant to be a health update, and if you follow me on social media (btw, I’m sorry), then you probably have already figured it out: I feel like myself again, I feel normal, and normal feels amazing. Normal means having highs, lows, and everything in between. The thirst traps are back, as well as the incessant coffee posts, and so are the travels. And yes, the exercise too, but notice the word “compulsive” does not precede exercise. I’ve learned A LOT about [Long] COVID [vaccine] and I’ve learned A LOT about my heart.

Unlike most of my friends where it was mostly benign after acute symptoms, [Long] COVID [vaccine] hit me different. I now know my body is quite sensitive to all things COVID related, thus, I try my best not to get it by masking up in crowded indoor situations. My cardiologist postponed my ablation saying that as long as I don’t have any episodes of atrial flutter/fibrillation, I can avoid the surgery — so far so good. He also said that as my body sheds the virus, my symptoms should subside and I should feel like my… NORMAL self again. I think I am currently operating at 90% of normal. Lessons that I’ve learned from this experience is that I know my body and I know when it is off, and I need to trust my gut, advocate for myself and surround myself with people who do likewise. If you want details, or if you find yourself in a similar situation, please reach out and I am happy to share resources and what I learned.

The echocardiogram confirmed that I have an enlarged atrium, which my sports cardiologist suspected and prepared me for the result. Endurance athletes like myself who spend a lifetime compulsively exercising are at greater risk for enlarged hearts, which in turn, are susceptible to valve problems as well as arrhythmia. The cardiologist told me that it’s probably not a case of IF but WHEN I will have another episode of arrhythmia. He strongly urged that I slow my roll, not the first time that I’ve been given this advice, which means I should stop exercising to be competitive but rather for fun. Since I no longer race, I immediately thought no more STRAVA segment leaderboards ☹️.

top endurance athletes from my era going through some realness

What did I do with this news? I immersed myself with information and I have learned so much in the process. First, I listened to this two-part podcast on the heart:

They are both long, it’s an investment. If you are like me, a lifelong Type-A, ultra competitive person who compulsively exercises for both competition and mental health, then you might want to make the investment (in you) and listen. I don’t want to turn this post into an Abstract on heart physiology, so, in a nutshell: I exercise less compulsively, I’m constantly asking myself if I am achieving vagal tone balance, and a technique I often utilize is the physiological sigh. The sports cardiologist also recommended that I do the majority of my “fun” exercise in Zone 2.

If you know me, you know that I am a pacehole — I will race you during training. I can’t help myself, I am super competitive. Not only will I race you, but I will race a STRAVA segment. On most days, if I feel good, I will just keep ramping the effort until I put myself into the hurt box — how many training plans and how many races did I botch because I could not temper this competitive urge. I also compulsively exercise for my mental health. I remember telling a friend that I know I would be on an anti-depressant if not for compulsive exercise. All too often, I found myself exercising not for physical health, or actually forsaking my physical health because I was sick or fatigued, in favor of mental health. Since the start of this year, I have tried my best to shake these old habits in favor of new habits that better serve my health. In fact, that’s why I stopped racing in 2012 because as I was laying in the medical tent with two IV’s, one in each arm post Ironman finish, I told myself this CANNOT be good for my health. But I merely stopped racing formally and replaced it with informal racing during group rides and for STRAVA segments. My current goal is to exercise for longevity rather than for performance. This is a good website and video explaining the distinction:

What does exercise for longevity look like for me? It means I listen to my body — sometimes, it’s more zen, but most times it’s using HRV data. I am often wearing a heart rate monitor. I do the majority of my exercise in zone 2, which means I have to avoid group rides or personas that trigger that competitive urge in me. I still do a lot of strength work. Google the correlation between mitochondria and longevity. I take more rest days and overall, I do less mileage and I have less of those EPIC days. Every now and then I treat myself and “release the Kraken”.

adults versus high school juniors

And now, just a few thoughts during my recent trip to Mexico City. First, I hate the unfair portrayal of Mexico by the U.S. media, as a poor, crime infested country. This year, I’ve made two trips to Mexico, first to Oaxaca and now to Mexico City. Both cities are vibrant, have amazing food with what seems like better ingredients than the U.S. (I think the U.S. food system is broken, another post), and I observed less crime, drug use and homelessness in both cities than I do in Oakland and San Francisco. As I stood in the Catedral Nacional, I thought there is no place in the U.S. that looks as grand as this. Don’t get me wrong, I would still much rather live in the Bay Area than in Mexico, but I state this to make a point about the unfair portrayal of Mexico. My advice, if you get the chance, visit Mexico; and not resort Mexico, but cultural Mexico. I want to leave you with this article about the first taco stand in Mexico City to earn a Michelin star. My friend Leslie (who I have known since the 5th grade!) and I waited in line for 45 minutes dissecting the pros and cons that come with earning such notoriety. Most of the cons dissipated when we saw how genuinely happy the Michelin-rated chef appeared to be when serving us. My favorite part in the article is when he mentions that he simply saw himself as a cook doing his job and now people call him a chef and Michelin awarded him with a chef’s coat!