#SEEkandenJOY

2023 thus far...

On Thursday, Cristin and I had a phone catch-up (yep, we talk on the phone 😊), and she asked me, “What about you? What’s going on with you?” Does anyone else struggle with this question? As I recall this moment, I remember thinking: wow, I have no work drama nor do I have relationship drama right now, is there anything interesting for me to tell? There was a long pause before I could answer Cristin and I believe I blurted exactly what I just wrote. Cristin, dissatisfied with my response, pressed me for more, and she helped me by asking questions that might spark a better response.

I woke up Friday morning, decided I wanted to do some intentional double breath cyclic breathing, which then led me to wanting to complete a 5-minute journal for the day. As I journaled, I started to ruminate, then mused, and finally I went into the hole that is philosophizing. This sequence of events is not unusual for me, sometimes it happens in the shower, but mostly it happens as I lay in bed, or on a run or on a bike ride. Well, the result was that I was able to formulate a more thoughtful response to Cristin’s question from the night before.

What’s going on with me? Well, 2023 feels like I am pursuing what makes me happy, or I’m seeking happiness. Then this reminded me of one of my favorite hashtags when I was using hashtags, #seekandenjoy. But when I recalled this hashtag, for whatever reason I focused on the words SEE and JOY. Who am I joking, for whatever reason, I know the reason, THE UNIVERSE. There may be no work drama, nor relationship drama, but there is, however, lots of planning to SEE and to experience JOY. I already have three trips booked, and I plan to book eight more trips; basically, I will be doing one trip per month for the remainder of 2023. Hellooooo carbon footprint. Process over perfection, folks, well, this is how I am justifying it. All of the trips are either to reconnect with friends or be with friends. I  guess you could say that rather than pursuing a romantic relationship or a better job, I am pursuing my relationships with friends and the joy such relationships bring. What’s going on with me? I am spending most of my time planning and doing a lot of research for upcoming trips. And oh, if any swammers are interested in doing a SwimTrek trip to either Belize or Indonesia, hit me up! This video is from our Croatia Swim Trek in 2012. #seejoy

And now, I want to talk about my friend David. He is just soooo dope. I crush on him hard, but in a way that you crushed on your teacher when you were in the fourth grade. But yes, he is also damn good looking, remember The Face on The A Team--like that good looking, and talk about always having a good hair day. Remember when I wrote about Hackim and his growth mindset? Well, David too has a growth mindset but I feel like he knows everything so I don’t know how he continues to grow. Check out his Substack and you will learn so much! He writes about politics, books, finances, research, philosophy, feelings, music, basically any topic label you have ever read in a bookstore, he covers it. I really don’t know where he finds the time. But not only is he intelligent and well-read, he is also quite athletic. Dude can ride a bike and also dabbles in swimming and running. I will never read or know as much as David, and that’s okay, because he calls me a friend, and I will forever enjoy the perks of learning from our friendship.

I bring up David because every time I read his blog, I usually end up thinking about my own writing  and my own motivation for writing. Unlike David, I rarely have book recommendations, nor trending graphs, and very little science or research to back up what I am writing. I learn so much when I read David’s blog, and for some reason I almost always end up comparing my writing to his. And then I have to remind myself why it is that I write, so that imposter syndrome does not creep in. So why do I write? As a teenager and young adult, I thought I was a science person. I turned down a full-ride scholarship to write in college because I was convinced that I was a science person. But as I’ve gotten older, I now think that I am a creative science person, more on the creative than the science. I like to and I need to create. Writing, or more specifically, storytelling, is the creative process I most enjoy. The process usually starts with thoughts or musings that invade my head. I ruminate on them, usually way too long; and eventually, the thoughts organize themselves into an outline in my head, and the outline gets filled in with more words to tell a story. Soon, I have most of the story written in my head, and it just feels natural to release the words onto the computer and send them out into the world. And so, my writing is probably, and selfishly, more for me than to teach you anything.

I can shake off everything if I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.

-Anne Frank

I have been reacquainting myself to this 10,000 Maniacs album from my college days, and reminiscing of living behind what Humboldt State students used to call the redwood curtain. I am sooooo happy that I attended Humboldt State because it shaped so much of who I am today. Listen to Natalie Merchant’s voice, it’s so freakin beautiful. And pay even closer attention to the lyrics of this album. I listened to this album non-stop between 1990-94. Is there any wonder why I am a tree-hugging, sustainable, climate-anxiety-ridden individual? Listen and Enjoy.